Illusions of Deception: Bread and Butter
by RanmaGuy
Summary: Theo Serendo, David Boume, and Solais Renova are forced to deliver a mysterious package after accidently blowing up a tavern.


Illusions of Deception is (c) Theo Chakkapark 2001(aka RanmaGuy)  
AIM: UrashimaaKeitaro  
5.10.01  
  
Bread and Butter  
  
"Damnit!" Theo Serendo cried as his six foot blade missed his target. This was around the fifth time that Theo and his friends David Boume and Solais Renova were ambushed by bandits. They were used to being attacked, but not this frequently; Theo assumed it had to do something with the little brown package that him and his friends had to deliver to another town.  
***  
"Oh man, I'm full!" Theo rubbed his belly, trying to prevent his expanded waist from bursting his brown cotton pants. He knew that normal taverns didn't have great food, but this one was an exception.  
He reclined his chair back, "So David, enjoying the gut buster?"  
Solais swallowed her food, "I never knew that there were such things as liquid based meals; I'm surprised that they're in such small containers."  
Theo watched as David's chin was propped to the side with his arms covering his spiky blue hair. David pushed the small cough-syrup-sized-cup aside, and began to drool over the table. "David, are you okay?" Theo was alittle worried.  
David drooled out blue sliva and stared blankly straightforward .  
"Don't worry about him, he's just being an idiot," Solais casually said, forking another piece of food into her mouth.  
David immediately recovered from his position, and looked at Solais with dagger-like eyes, "Hey! I'm no idiot, at least I'm not a pig!"  
"Jerk!"  
David began to make oink noises, but stopped as soon as Solais' fork was suddenly embedded in the wooden table a few centimeters from his face. "I'll roast you like a piggy!" Solais knocked her wooden chair back, and stood up.  
"Oh no," Theo thought to himself. He knew this wasn't going to be good.  
Solais' long blond hair and blue dress began to sway as if in a strong wind. She was in a spellcasting position, her body glowing with a fiery red aura...  
Fire, gather in my hands and dispel the evil within... Bom Fie!  
Theo watched as a fireball, around three feet in circumference, was thrown from Solais' hand. It vanished for half a second, and reappeared in front of David, exploding on him. The room became filled with smoke to the point that it hindered Theo's vision; he could hear screams from other parts of the room.  
As soon as the smoke cleared, Theo noticed that the whole tavern was a complete wreak. Some tables and chairs were tipped to the side, burnt and singed. Broken glass and plates were strewn about the old wooden floors. Surprisingly, there was no harm done to the customers. A moment of silence followed, as Theo stared at Solais, who was breathing as if finishing a two mile run. She sat back in her chair, and stretched, "Ha! Who's the piggy now?"  
"Owww..." Spoke a burnt David, who no longer had a chair, and was in a dead man's position on the ground.  
Theo shook his head. Why did this always have to happen every time they ate? "You!!!" Someone said in an angry tone from behind him.  
He turned around and was face-to-face with the burly disgruntled tavern owner, who had a knife in his hand, which was aimed towards his direction. Theo waved his hands in a defensive motion, "We're sorry!! Please don't hurt us!! We'll do anything!!" Why was it always him who had to plead for something he didn't even commit?  
The owner took out a package and set it in front of Theo's face, "Deliver this, and I will forget what you did to my tavern!"  
Theo looked down at the tiny package, "What is this?"  
"That's none of your business! Deliver this now!"  
A moment later, Theo, Solais, and David were kicked out.  
Theo rubbed the bottom of his brown cotton pants, "Man, that hurts."  
Solais adjusted her blue dress, "If David wasn't so stupid, maybe this wouldn't happen."  
David spoke from behind Theo, "I'll show you stupid, you pig!"  
Theo could feel a battle aura forming behind him. He steadfastly stood up, "Hey! Stop this the both of you! We're lucky that we didn't have to even pay this time for the damages or the food!"   
David stopped his casting, and rubbed his chin, "Woah, you're right!! We didn't have to pay!! Good job, Solais!"  
Theo shook his head, "But we have to deliver this package."  
He presented the small brown box that had a @_O printed on it.  
"What is it?" Solais asked in an inquisitive tone.  
Theo scratched his brown hair, "I have no idea. It says on the side of the box, take to the Master in Rydia."  
Solais' eyes widened, "Oh no."  
"What's wrong?" David asked.  
Solais' face turned to worry, "That's the city of bandits and thieves. Not only that, we have to cross though a forest fifty crests from here that's littered with traps."  
Theo sighed. He wondered if it was a better idea to be cleaning dishes right now.  
***  
Water across the holy plane, disrupt... Bross Geyser!  
Theo's hand pointed towards the direction of one of the bandits; the ground opened up with a blast of pressurized water, sending the bandit in mid air, never to be seen in sight again.  
"Give me that renoza!"  
Theo ducked as a swing came from behind him; he took his sword out and made a slash while spinning his body to face the attacker. As soon as the turn was made, the bandit made a loud thud on the ground, sending small bits of dust and leaves into the air. He looked to his right, and saw another bandit jumping from a tree towards David's back with a spear. "David, look out!" Theo yelled.  
Solais intercepted the bandit with her saber before he was able to make a strike; he collapsed with a groan.  
Circle of ambers, burn the earth with your cinders, and  
carry the ashes with your strength... Cire Ambiare!  
Theo glanced as David made a circle motion with his index finger; a glowing red circle began to form around the bandit that was in front of David. As soon as the ends of the circle conjoined, a high pitch ping, followed by a pillar of fire, engulfed the bandit.  
"Oww." The ragged bandit dropped her knife and collapsed unconscious.  
The battle was over.  
"Jeez..." Solais huffed and puffed, supporting her body by bending her hands down to her knees.  
"Thanks... (huff)... for... (puff)... saving me."  
"This is never going to end." Theo sighed.  
Theo made random engravements into the ground with a twig. "Give me that renoza!" Theo recalled from eariler.  
He scratched his head. He didn't know what a renoza was, but he was pretty sure it had to do something with the package they were to deliver.  
"Hey guys, do you know what a renoza is?"  
David and Solais looked at each other, and shurgged.  
"Nope."  
"Renoza? Never heard of it."  
Theo sighed, and shook the package a little. Whatever was inside the package, it must be really valuable. Before curiosity got to the best of him, he looked back at Solais, who was casting a recovery spell on herself from the small injuries. "How far are we until we reach Rydia?"  
"Check the map. It's attached to my sheath."  
David went over to Solais, and picked up her saber's sheath, which was still attached to Solais' waist. The map was rolled up and tied with a red ribbon. David began to untie the knot.  
"Hey, watch it, pervert." Solais could feel David tugging her towards him.  
"It's not coming off!" David began to get frustrated, and tugged harder at the knot.  
David began to get angry, and pulled at the ribbon with all his might. In a last effort attempt, he gave a hard tug, tipping Solais to the side over David's chest.  
*SLAP*  
"Pervert!" Solais was blushing a beet red as David rubbed the side of his cheek.  
"I didn't see anything!" David protested.  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?" Solais casted a bom fie at David, burning him with the fireball that destroyed the tavern. David was obviously misunderstood, and fell unconscious from the explosion.  
Before Theo could do more head shaking, the ground began to rumble and the trees began to shake violently. "What's going on?" Theo wondered.  
Theo turned around to see a huge boulder coming towards his direction.   
"Oh crap! Let's go!!" Theo yelled as he picked up David and carried him  
on his shoulder.  
***  
  
Theo, with an unconscious David on his shoulder, along with Solais at his side, were running at an extremely fast pace, as the huge Indiana Jones-like-boulder made its way down towards them, crushing everything in it's path.  
"I'm gonna dieeeeeeee!!!!!" yelled Theo as he made a leap over a spiked trap.  
Solais was ahead of Theo, and ducked as an arrow shot past her and grazed Theo's right shoulder. "Damn, that's my favorite vest!" Theo cried, flailing his right arm into the air in order to gain more momentum.  
"Oh oh..." Theo said to himself, as his right arm snapped a trip wire that was above his head.  
Several lightning blasts shot towards Theo from the side, missing, and blowing up the trees behind him.  
"Why me..." he cried to himself while accelerating.  
"Hey, down here!" Solais disappeared from Theo's view.  
"Huh?" Theo was suddenly grabbed by the legs, and fell though the hole.  
A second later, above Theo, the boulder passed by. "Nice save," Theo commented to Solais.  
"Yeah..."  
Theo put David on the ground to catch his breath, "At least we survived that... David's lucky he didn't even have to run."  
"I guess he owes me," Solais lamented.   
***  
"Woah, this is Rydia?" Theo was amazed at the sight he saw a few crests away. For a fifty crest journey, he had to admit, Rydia was pretty good for a town inhabited with bandits and thieves.  
"Look at the shiny lights..." David began to drool; his face was barely visible in the darkness, with only his green eyes illuminated by the lights that came from Rydia a few crests away.  
"Jeez, well what are we waiting for?" Solais impatiently stated.  
***  
Theo, followed by David and Solais, arrived at the entrance of the town. "We gotta be careful... remember, this is a town of bandits and thieves." Solais reminded the two.  
They entered the brightly lit village; Theo had a sense of uneasiness as he felt a thousand glares at him that came from the nearby wooden buildings. The un-paved path sent bits of dust flying around him with every step he took, making him a bit nauseous.  
One of the bandits approached the three, and started talking to Solais, "Hey, good lookin', you free tonight?"  
"Bom fie!!!"  
The bandit was scorched and twitched on the ground.  
"Jeez... perverts." Solais dusted off her hands as Theo and David moved a few feet away from her.  
David poked Theo's blue vest, "Hey Theo, so where is this master?"  
Theo scratched his head, and pointed forward, "I think it's over there."  
Solais looked towards Theo's finger and rolled her eyes, "Don't you think that's a bit too obvious?"  
Theo shrugged, "Beats me, but if putting a huge lit sign in neon colored farie lights that arrange out to say 'Master lives here', I ain't complanin'. Makes our job easier."  
***  
Theo stared in amazement as he saw the Master, in the most stereotypical-like-villian scene ever - a fat half naked guy laying on a one man sofa, with several women tending to him with fruits. Two were fanning him with leaves. Theo looked at Solais, who shuddered, then looked at the golden belt buckle the Master was wearing. He stepped forward, and was suddenly stopped by two bandits that crossed their spears together.  
The Master threw some meat over to the side, and wiped his mouth with his arm, "What do you want?"  
Theo held up the package from above his head for the Master to see, "Its some kind of package that a tavern owner wanted us to deliver to you..."  
Before Theo could react, a swift hand grabbed the box from his hands, "Hey!"  
The figure made a leap across the spears and presented it to the Master. His eyes lit up at the sight of the package.  
"This is... the renoza!"  
The spears uncrossed, and the Master stared at Theo, "You may go."  
David interrupted as the Master was about to lift the item from the box, "What is a renoza?"  
The Master laughed, "It's the most tastiest sandwich in all the land!!"  
"WHAT?!?" Theo, David, and Solais said in chorus.  
Chuckling, the Master lifted the sandwich out of the box; Theo was shocked - the sandwich was small, no, tiny!  
Theo sighed, and saw Solais eyes beginning to twitch...  
"We went though ALL that for ONE TINY SANDWICH?!?!"  
Solais' had a fireball ready to cast; David jumped towards the Master, "MINE!!! FOOD!!"  
Theo walked out of the building as he heard the sounds of many explosions and screams...  
"NO, THIS IS MINE!!!"  
"BOM FIE!!"  
Theo sighed, "Why does this always happen..."  
  
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Finis.  
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End file.
